I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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