Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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