So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dear god my vagina.
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