well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
