piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
