I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
