no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
