Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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