I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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