whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
