tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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