i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
