Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
