So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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