yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
