So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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