a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
