Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
