I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
