you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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