I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
