Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
