Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
