I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
