Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
