I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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