I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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