saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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