is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
