Define "chronic" masturbator.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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