i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
