Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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