I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
