I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just had sex on a roof
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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