I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
