people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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