Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
