It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
