make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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