If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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