I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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