No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize