Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
