Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
