Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
