And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
