I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
