My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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