peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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