someone threw a dead crab at me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
