my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
