lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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