She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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