yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
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