I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
