Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
