So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
