Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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