you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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