I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
