I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i think my cat just said my name.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
