he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
