In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
